My Resume | Joel Burrows

Part I: About Me

I am unemployed


I have 200 Pokemon cards

and an anxiety disorder

that I’ll hide until
my probation has ended


There is a collection
of bees that live
in my car park
and they scare me
every morning

My 2011 tattoo of Steve Jobs

was my greatest mistake


I like chasing

my dogs in the woods


Part II: Work Experience


Table setter

2000 - 2012
my Mum


The worst barista

2013 - 2013

The Sea Cliff Cafe


Tantrum craddler

1994 - 2020
Me Industries
aka I was



Part III: Skills

Sometimes when
I chase my dogs

through the woods

I can almost make

my mind go blank


I am no longer thinking

about breakfast

or purchasing spoons


My wet feet splosh in the
mud and my two staffies
run and my pink brain
sloshes around in its fluid

I’d be dazzled by

the greenery

if I was looking at

the greenery


It’s a skill I can only

do while I’m sprinting

Part IV: Hobbies


I can quote all of the Titanic


Part V: References


The boss that I slighted
when I refused to work
unpaid overtime
the day he got a divorce


The ferns and the pine
trees and the ivy
that I run past
and through and into
as I ferociously
try to tune out the panic

+61 457 amongst the woods







Joel Burrows is a journalist and creative writer. His journalism can be found can be found on VICE, The Guardian, plus ABC Life amongst others. He has also crafted experimental works for The Writers Bloc and Going Down Swinging. You can follow him on Instagram here.

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