Part I: About Me I am unemployed
I have 200 Pokemon cards
and an anxiety disorder
that I’ll hide until my probation has ended
There is a collection of bees that live in my car park and they scare me every morning
My 2011 tattoo of Steve Jobs
was my greatest mistake
I like chasing
my dogs in the woods
Part II: Work Experience
Table setter
2000 - 2012 Coleen aka my Mum
The worst barista
2013 - 2013
The Sea Cliff Cafe
Tantrum craddler
1994 - 2020 Me Industries aka I was
self-employed
Part III: Skills
Sometimes when I chase my dogs
through the woods
I can almost make
my mind go blank
I am no longer thinking
about breakfast
or purchasing spoons
My wet feet splosh in the mud and my two staffies run and my pink brain sloshes around in its fluid I’d be dazzled by
the greenery
if I was looking at
the greenery
It’s a skill I can only
do while I’m sprinting
Part IV: Hobbies
I can quote all of the Titanic
Part V: References
The boss that I slighted when I refused to work unpaid overtime the day he got a divorce
max@theseacliffcafe.com
The ferns and the pine trees and the ivy that I run past and through and into as I ferociously try to tune out the panic
+61 457 amongst the woods
Joel Burrows is a journalist and creative writer. His journalism can be found can be found on VICE, The Guardian, plus ABC Life amongst others. He has also crafted experimental works for The Writers Bloc and Going Down Swinging. You can follow him on Instagram here.