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My Resume | Joel Burrows

Part I: About Me I am unemployed

I have 200 Pokemon cards

and an anxiety disorder

that I’ll hide until my probation has ended

There is a collection of bees that live in my car park and they scare me every morning

My 2011 tattoo of Steve Jobs

was my greatest mistake

I like chasing

my dogs in the woods

Part II: Work Experience

Table setter

2000 - 2012 Coleen aka my Mum

The worst barista

2013 - 2013

The Sea Cliff Cafe

Tantrum craddler

1994 - 2020 Me Industries aka I was


Part III: Skills

Sometimes when I chase my dogs

through the woods

I can almost make

my mind go blank

I am no longer thinking

about breakfast

or purchasing spoons

My wet feet splosh in the mud and my two staffies run and my pink brain sloshes around in its fluid I’d be dazzled by

the greenery

if I was looking at

the greenery

It’s a skill I can only

do while I’m sprinting

Part IV: Hobbies

I can quote all of the Titanic

Part V: References

The boss that I slighted when I refused to work unpaid overtime the day he got a divorce

The ferns and the pine trees and the ivy that I run past and through and into as I ferociously try to tune out the panic

+61 457 amongst the woods

Joel Burrows is a journalist and creative writer. His journalism can be found can be found on VICE, The Guardian, plus ABC Life amongst others. He has also crafted experimental works for The Writers Bloc and Going Down Swinging. You can follow him on Instagram here.

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